Swapping each Chinese word for an English word is the most natural instinct — and the number-one source of Chinglish. "开灯" (turn on the light) uses 开, so… open? English says no — turn on the light. "吃药" (take medicine) uses 吃 (eat)? English uses take medicine. You know every word, yet what comes out isn't English.

The problem: the smallest unit of a language isn't the word — it's the collocation. Which verb goes with which noun is a native-speaker convention, and it doesn't follow logic. Chinese works the same way: 吃食堂 ("eat the canteen") is absurd if you read it literally.